truck driver humor

15 Truck Driver Memes That'll Fill Your Day With Humor. What does DOT stand for? He knows that the penguins won't survive in the heat for that long so he flags down a passing truck and offers the driver $5000 to take the penguins to the Perth zoo for him. UnicorMaid Frankenstein original Logo distressed Classic T-Shirt. Im June, June Hansen, she said. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying THUMP as he did so, and then swerve back onto the road. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! text-align: center; He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days.". A gynaecologist was fed up withhis job and so he decided to switch careers. Click here for more information. The cop said "You need to take them to the zoo! font-size: 28px; The bartender obliges and pours him another whiskey. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of. display: block; "They haul your cars, your beer, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet. } border-color: #4267B2; Do you think, says the priest to the pastor, we should just put up a sign that says Bridge Out instead?. Want to go for a spin?, 16. Allow notifications. Many of them can be played with wheel and brakes too. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-11{display:none;} There were too many trailers. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many. .rll-youtube-player, [data-lazy-src]{display:none !important;}. A cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me. The trucker said, Yeah, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!, I was walking down the street today when breakdown truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, Excuse me, Im looking for the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery., No problem, I said. ", So, a truck driver stops at a diner for a cup of coffee, a piece of pie, and a chat with the waitress one evening. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying THUMP, and then swerve back onto the road. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes. js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; I cant stand to see a grown man cry., The sad guy sobs, No, its not that. One day this man had gotten home from work and saw this boy in his neighborhood sitting outside on the sidewalk with a bag of M&Ms and an Alley Cat. With a bit of confusion she hastily replies "I am not pregnant". Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, startled, speechless, and amazed. Eventually, a cop car pulls up. A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. He sits down at the bar, and the bartender comes over to him. display: block; - Erma Bombeck. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. A car driver stop by and ask if everybody is alright. I'm from Germany, so I hope it doesn't get lost in translation. Many states and federal agencies involved. "True love is when a girl loves a guy as much as her truck.". It cost him a lot of time. u to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. Why cant test tube babies be truck drivers? Moral of the story: Better Nate than lever. It was a vicious situation. color: #444; When you come home from a two-week trip and hes still trying to back out of the driveway! A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. The hitchhiker is ecstatic and agrees, thankful that he can cover more ground quickly. He asks the person behind the cash register, "Why is a doctor brain worth . After all, theres no plate like chrome for the hollandaise! One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. The driver did so and left. The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" The owner from the gas station asks where the penguin comes from. Today Im taking them to the beach. As he goes in the door he sees a sign that says "No Nerds will be served." All he could see was a faint light in the distance. Jan 14, 2016 - Because every trucker could use a good laugh! They had to call in a minesweeper. The man says to him, "Oh, thank God you're here. She tells him "yes! A police officer was monitoring the highway .When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit. Consolidated Freight--- Corn Flakes. } Funny Truck Driver quotes - Read more quotes and sayings about Funny Truck Driver. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. COPY JOKE. .arqam-widget-counter li span { Ice cream truck drivers serve up ice cream cookies . As I was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right through the traffic, cutting up the other road users before smashing into the back of a car. Opting out is easy, so give it a try. As he walked up to the driver, he noticed that the trunk bed was filled with penguins! #WideLoad #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy Tuesday! The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and he noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook. EVENTS. I hate being sexy but I'm a truck driver so I can't help it! Thinkingthat the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman said, Did I just see you swallow something?, The truck driver replied, Yeah, that was my birth control pill.. He grew to enjoy the satisfac. After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. Trucker, Lawyer, and A Priest. Haulin oats. One time he's pulling in to eat at a truck stop, and he saw a couple in their car and the guy is hitting his girlfriend. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. I wasn't old enough, THEN. He drives past a police car which immediately fires up his blues and twos, and pulls the pickup truck over. Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air. Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. I cant grant you that anything else for sure. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. #trucks #truckdriver #truckdriving #trucker #truckingjobs #jobs #18wheeler, With these helpful tips, the driver has dealt with fewer el assos on the road. He pulls over and looks around, but can't see anyone. There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. See more ideas about trucking humor, humor, laugh. After a while, the truck driver decides to show him what's what. Enjoy! Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? The woman gets back in her car, and when the light turns green, the driver keeps trucking. .arqam-widget-counter ul { He looks back at the blonde and she's smi. text-align: center; border-color: #3f729b; See more ideas about truck driver, humor, trucker quotes. Department of Tickets! A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. background:#f26522; Being a truck driver can be very boring. Very big one. Pinterest. What was the truckers excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers? #Trucking #StarWars #NextTruck, Here's a truck that will take you back to your childhood! There was a million dollars in damage. One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. The officer immediately asked the Truck driver to bring the truck aside for a complete check up. Thatll be $9.40 please. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo, He walks up to the Madame, hands her $1000 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a dry turkey sandwich!". A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. And I thought you were bringing her back.. They can hook up with anybody on the street and take them home. 9. It made quite the racket. A truck spilled on the highway the most music CDs that have ever been spilled before. Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li a i { The trucker says, Its terrible, Ive run over a small bear!. border-radius: 50px; He knocks on the window and she lowers it. A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway. } #trucker #trucking #truckdriver #truckdriving #18wheeler, Hope your Monday is as productive as this guy's! After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. They are the best you will find. I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. Driver: Well, sir. [Updated 8/9/21]. color: #45b0e3; Learn about how the relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the process. Great Gift! No problem, Father! When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days. A truck carrying ten thousand copies of a thesaurus crashed on the motorway. -webkit-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. padding: 0 0 7px; One day, Nate was bored, so he decided to cross the street and check out this world-ending lever. Whats the difference between aPeterbilt and a porcupine? Funny border-color: #CB2027; A young pastor walking be asked Timmy what in the world are you doing ? 15. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. 5 Fun Truck Driving Games. She pulls a gun out of her purse and says "I am taking your truck, that. js.src = "//forms.aweber.com/form/69/1702128069.js"; He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles., The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. No ride! I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes em, but I wasnt allowed to stop anywhere near the place! A truck driver finds a lamp, and rubs it. What has one horn and gives milk? Class A Drivers: Trucking Jokes2. I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. HOW DAIRY!! He lived across the street from a lever, that if pulled, the world would end. They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Driver: Afternoon officer. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: Yessir, I was speeding. Oh? exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. text-align: center; A married truck driver goes into a brothel. NHTSA Study Shows Safest and Most Dangerous States for Truckers, FMCSA to Review Crash Preventability Determination Program, Loves Travel Stops to Spend Tons of Money. Long haul jokes, 18-wheeler humor, and a truckload of semi funny puns . SoI walk into my house only tofind my wife in bed with the gardener. TopMark Funding I was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my car and then driven here. After it drives off I realize Ive left my wallet and credit cards in it. ", He slams a thousand dollar note on the receptionist's table and says "Give a cheese sandwich and one of your ugliest women". Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. There once was a boy named Nate. The policeman says, Sorry pal, you cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed. At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. .postid-68826 .single-post-thumb img { .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-rss a i { The truck driver motioned for Kevin to pull over.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_28',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); When Kevin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. } He pulls over by the side of the road. What Are The Different Commercial Vehicle Classes? } "Let's play a game. Changed a lot of stuff, and added a buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible. But what was all that other noise?, The trucker replies, Well, I had to go through two fences to get him.. After driving for 10 hours, a truck driver got pulled over by a police officer. For his last question the examiner decides hes going to give a question that no co-driver in the world can help with. Today there are many kinds of games online. Truck Driver Jokes. font-size: 21px; Still, truckers say theyre motivated by the challenge and thankful for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens. He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again. Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return. From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash. I'm pulling this from memory. The only thing that annoys the guy is that the girl is making him wait before he takes the relationship to a physical level. Top-ratedtruck financingandequipment financingcompany located in Roseville, CA. Three truck drivers were sitting at a bar. Eat an M&M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet. I highly recommend it. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. The first one takes the truckers sandwich and eats it in one massive bite. Today im taking them to the beach., A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The end is near! -moz-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; Anonymous. Truck Quotes And Sayings. A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused. By: Hadlee ( 2) ( 0) A doctor sees a "brains for sale" sign in front of a shop. i love blumpkins decal sticker funny gag joke prank humor sexy car truck. The truck driver says, "I'll have a, One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. Little neighbor boy was sittin' out on the curb with a bag of m&m's and an alley cat. As they pay the bill the first one talks to the waitress and says, That trucker that was in here earlier wasnt much of a man, was he?. Genie: I grant you one wish. display: block; You need to take those penguins to the zoo. margin: 0 !important; What do you call a queue of trucks? In Georgia we had many for all the local drivers. .arqam-widget-counter ul, .arqam-widget-counter li { formId: "7c6ce99d-c903-4f20-9284-81762cce052d" Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. Where do the Mexican truckers hang out? The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common? display: block; Whoever can sell it for the highest price will be worthy of everything I leave behind", Researchers for the Swansea Authority found over 200 dead crows near M4 recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. So do police officers. } .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-youtube a i { them though! Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. Check out our humor truck driver selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. 1. Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks dont even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs. Your email address will not be published. A short time later, hes woken by the noise of the truck running over something. font-size: 21px; $1.97. One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. With 20+ years of experience in the trucking industry financing and leasing straight and box trucks for owner-operators and fleet owners. Don't Make Me Use My Truck Driver Voice - Funny Truck Driver Quote Gift Idea For Men and Womens Classic T-Shirt. I thought to myself, Ive got no idea either!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_11',663,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. 4. } A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Kevin, Stand in that circle and DONT MOVE!. Then when I leave the office, my cars been stolen. We specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment. On the porcupine the prick is on the outside. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and t, A couple has been dating for a few months. ", As he sits he pops a candy in his mouth grabs the cat and bites it. The cop said, "You need to take them to the zoo!". background:#45b0e3; .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col2 li a, .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li a { Truckers are vital to the economy and keep products and food moving from sources to the stores. A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely *not* Avian Flu. The truck driver didnt say a word as he paid the waitress and left. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame li a i { There was a man driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. Country boys got pickup trucks.". Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. There are thousands of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good money. There was no training, but I think I'll pick it up as i go along. } Whats the difference between a Swift driver and a toilet? .arqam-widget-counter .arq-pinterest small { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; ('Cause Keep On Truckin' Jokes and Semi Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Free-W heeling Mother Truckers!) If he sees a lawyer walking on the sidewalk, he'll hop the curb and run him over. Strangely enough, there was no congestion. Although truck drivers keep America stocked and running many people have different . They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. A Peter-Worth-Shakin! Believe it or not, being a truck driver offers tons of benefits. color: #000 !important; To which the waiter replies, Hes not much of a driver, either. speak: none; $1.85. So, the next day, the same man is driving the same pickup truck on the same road with the same ducklings in the back, except this time theyre all wearing sunglasses! color: #fff; line-height: 50px; I know, replied the priest. Next day, the officer sees the same truck going 20 below the speed-limit again! He says to her, Youre the second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of the ditch today. With a bit of confusion, she hastily replies, Im not pregnant. He pauses and calmly states, youre not out of the ditch yet.. The motorist went up to him and said, I dont mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?, To which the trucker replied, Sorry, cant talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10-ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. People Change Drunk Driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy . Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds most giant pair of glasses the other week. Did you decode this #LicensePlate? .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-pinterest a i {

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